I've noticed a glitch in the Matrix. We've successfully returned to the office (albeit part time), yet somehow, we're still living in a Zoom box — actually Google Meet if you work for Equifax or any company that dared escape the Office ecosystem.
If you're currently sitting in an open-concept office with low walls and high blood pressure, this In-Person Etiquette Memo is for you:
The "Ghost" Meeting
If a meeting is booked in a conference room and you are physically in the building, please enter the room. Joining the Zoom from your desk 15 feet away creates a literal "echo chamber" that haunts the entire floor. We can see you through the glass, and walked past you to get here. It's awkward for everyone.
The Human Megaphone
In an open office with low cube walls, sound doesn't just travel — it colonizes. If you're on a "quick sync" at your desk, remember that your colleagues aren't an intentional audience for your five-part harmony of project updates. If I can hear your client's middle name, you're too loud.
The "Spatial Awareness" Rule
If you see me wearing noise-canceling headphones the size of pilot gear, it's not a fashion statement. It's a cry for help. It means I'm trying to focus on one task while the four meetings around me blend into a chaotic podcast I never subscribed to.
Use the Furniture
We are paying rent for chairs, tables, and four-walled rooms. Let's be wild and use them! Strategy is built in real-time, not through a 1.5-second audio lag across a row of desks. I'm also really tired of hearing: "Suzy is frozen," "you're muted," "no, you go ahead."
Let's make "in-person" mean actually in-person again. Or at least, let's agree that if we're going to be on Zoom all day, we could have done it in shorts. ☕️
Are you reading this while listening to three (wait, actually four) different meetings at once? Drop your open office horror stories in the comments on LinkedIn. 👇
Originally published on LinkedIn on February 12, 2026. Follow David Voorhees for more insights on workplace culture, forensic accounting, and financial leadership.